Tears of Hate
by Take
Summary: shonen ai hints;death; Part of my "Tears" series, a personal challenge to write angst. C&C's welcomed.


*Standard disclaimers*  
  
**Yaoi, angst, death**  
  
  
  
Tears of Hate: I'll Kill You  
  
Take (February 1999)  
  
  
  
~~~~~~  
  
It's all over with me now  
  
And I'll kill you  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Koenma looked at the cowering youkai from across the expanse of his desk. The demon was as white as a sheet, and had the look of a caged animal; one that had been pushed too far and was now capable of anything. He sighed impatiently, making the youkai shrink back in fear; something unusual, especially since the Reikai prince was in his toddler form.  
  
"What did you see?"  
  
At the sound of Koenma's voice the youkai shuddered, going paler than before, if possible; his skin was now a sickly gray in hue, and the young god of death was sure that he was going to pass out any second.  
  
"You're safe here," Koenma said, trying to soothe the youkai. "No one can hurt you now. What did you see?"  
  
The youkai looked at him in blatant disbelief. He craned his neck forward, one word falling from his lips. "Kurama wa…"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
You changed me  
  
You drove me mad  
  
~~~~~~  
  
It was all the youkai could say as he choked; his skin writhed, and his body exploded into a rose bush, the blood-red flowers filling the office with a sickeningly sweet fragrance.  
  
Koenma closed his eyes, shutting out the sight of the dying demon, feeling the old familiar feelings of guilt and regret overflowing him. Kurama…how could anyone have predicted that he would change so drastically? Mourn yes, but this?  
  
Koenma rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily; losing Hiei had been bad enough, but in the end, they had lost Kurama as well.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
You robbed me of my loving, It's you!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Kurama's accusing emerald stare still haunted his dreams…blaming him for sending his lover to his death. His words, filled with pain…"I *felt* him die, you bastard. How could you send him in alone?!"  
  
After Hiei's death, Kurama had changed…He had become darker, sadistic. No one had been able to look into the tortured eyes anymore. Eventually, Kurama had accepted Yomi's offer of his position and had reverted permanently to youko form. There was a big difference with *this* Youko Kurama; this one killed for pleasure and with and unreasoning cruelty that surpassed all other youkai. Because of him, roses were now being called the 'flowers of death'; those who received his calling cards invariably wound up dead in painful ways.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Still I'm sad that you betrayed me  
  
It's all over with me now  
  
All over with me now  
  
And I'll kill you  
  
~~~~~~  
  
It was whispered throughout the Makai that the silver Lord who had replaced Yomi had a pool of blood in his stronghold, and that the roses he sent were dyed in it. In any case, the once bustling streets of his city were now eerily silent; no on dared draw the notice of the silver youko whom many considered to be the Devil incarnate.  
  
Koenma shivered before putting in a call to Botan. "Botan," he ordered the ferrygirl, "Get me Yuusuke."  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Don't (let) let me go un(-checked)  
  
I've gotta go (wild)  
  
~~~~~~  
  
The black haired man glared at his former boss. Eyes that had once been filled with laughter stared stonily at the toddler before him. "Why me?" he asked finally. "Why not another?" Years had tempered Yuusuke's brash hotheadedness; he was colder, more calculating now.  
  
Koenma met his stare evenly. "There's no on else that comes close to your level of ability," he informed the former Tantei.  
  
"What makes you think Kurama'll listen to me?" Yuusuke asked. "Most likely I'll only stir up more painful memories."  
  
"Listen to me Yuusuke." The prince's voice was intense. "You've heard the rumors about what's happening in his citadel. So did we, but we thought they were just that; rumors. Then a youkai brought us this." Koenma pressed a button, and the monitor by the desk flickered to life.  
  
"Dear gods," Yuusuke muttered, staring in revulsion at the shots.  
  
Bodies stood guard around Kurama's stronghold; Yuusuke saw that some of the impaled youkai were still alive and moving. In all the years he had been a Tantei, he had never seen anything that even *compared* to this.  
  
"It gets worse the closer you get to the castle," Koenma said softly from behind. "Kurama has to be stopped."  
  
"Since when does the Reikai care what happens to the Makai?" Yuusuke returned.  
  
"Since it's prince got involved with his Tantei," Koenma said truthfully. "Because he doesn't want any more of his friends to die, no matter what they may believe."  
  
Yuusuke's posture was rigid. Then, "Yosh, I'll do it," he sighed. "But I won't kill him, or leave him to face Reikai *justice*."  
  
Koenma nodded. "I want Botan and a mindhealer to have a look at him. I don't want Kurama to end up in Hell any more than you do."  
  
Yuusuke gave his former boss an inscrutable look, and turned to leave.  
  
The prince watched him go; for a moment he looked as if his centuries of life weighed on him a hundredfold. "Ganbatte."  
  
~~~~~~  
  
It's all over with me now  
  
And I'll kill you  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Yuusuke stepped out of the Gate, gagging at the stench hanging in the air. The unnatural stillness was broken only by the occasional sound of rodents scuttling to safety.  
  
Trying hard not to breathe, the young man started toward the castle, not bothering to disguise his presence. He could feel eyes on him, monitoring his progress; not exactly hostile, but not welcoming, either.  
  
The doors of the castle swung open, the low groan of rusty hinges loud and jarring. From within came a voice that Yuusuke hadn't heard in five years. "Hisashiburi na, Yuusuke."  
  
~~~~~~  
  
You changed me  
  
You drove me mad  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"Kurama." Yuusuke regarded his former teammate with mild shock. "You look like shit."  
  
The youko grinned mirthlessly. "As tactful as ever, I see." He waved a negligent hand. "Come in, come in." The carnivorous plants lining the hall parted before him, Yuusuke following warily behind. He swallowed heavily, spying one of the flora chewing on what looked to be an arm.  
  
They entered the throne room, Kurama seating himself gracefully, indicating that his former leader do the same. "So. I assume Koenma sent you here to stop the 'mad youko'?" An insane light flickered briefly in gold eyes, almost too fast to catch. "I can't stop and give myself up. It's the principle of the thing, you know."  
  
Yuusuke frowned. "Kurama -"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
You robbed me of my loving, It's you  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"No!" Kurama cut him off suddenly, eyes flashing. "I hope Koenma is suffering through each youkai I send his way. I hope he's reading every line in his reports knowing that he brought this on them!" Kurama got up and began to pace, long silver hair streaked with blood swirling around him. "He took the most important person in my life - he KNOWINGLY sent him to his death!" The youko whirled to face Yuusuke, his handsome features twisted with hate. "I want him to suffer. I want him to see the consequences of his actions."  
  
"You think he doesn't know that?!" Yuusuke shouted, incredulous. "By Enma, he faces it every day!" This was just too much!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Don't call it dream or fantasy  
  
Nobody knows my soul burned as fire  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"It's not enough!" the youko hissed. "He let Hiei die! He has to pay!" Kurama stopped in front of a glass showcase, resting his hands on the smooth surface. Inside, on a bed of carmine rose petals, lay Hiei's sword. Gold vulpine eyes were reflected on the blade, revealing a tortured half- soul in their depths. "He has to pay," he repeated softly.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Why my heart was broken so heavy  
  
You might know my love was for you  
  
You know!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"He is, Kurama. Every second of his life." Yuusuke's voice was weary. "He's lost just as much."  
  
"Iya." Kurama was definite. "I lost everything…when I lost Hiei." He grasped the black teargem hanging at his throat. "I can't feel my soul anymore, Yuusuke. Hiei took it with him."  
  
The youko ran a hand through his hair, coming up with a rose. A mad light came to his eyes as he turned and advanced casually on his guest. "Nothing matters anymore except hurting Koenma…"  
  
Alarmed, Yuusuke retreated a few steps. "Ku - Kurama! Nani suru yo?!"  
  
"It's nothing personal," the youko calmly assured the young man, flinging the rose at him, "Just think of how much lovely pain it would cause Koenma if I sent you back in several pieces." He conjured up his Rose Whip, lashing out viciously with the thorny weapon.  
  
Yuusuke jumped and dodged, unable to get in close enough to hit and unwilling to use his Reigun on his friend. "I don't wanna hurt you Kurama," he said as he avoided one of the kitsune's hungry plants.  
  
"Then you die."  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Oh, go to the grave together  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Yuusuke and Kurama leapt toward each other as one, the young man preparing to fire his Reigun, the kitsune swinging his whip.  
  
Just as Yuusuke fired, however, Kurama pulled back, catching the blast square in his chest. He was flung backwards, crashing into the glass case that housed his dead lover's sword.  
  
"Kurama!" Stunned, Yuusuke rushed to the youko's side.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
I'll kill you! (You go to the grave with me)  
  
I'll kill you!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Calm golden eyes fluttered open to stare into fearful brown ones as Yuusuke moved to cradle the youko. "Arigatou…Yuusuke."  
  
"Shikkari shite! I'll get you to a healer!" Kurama's chest was a mess; Yuusuke knew with a growing certainty that his friend didn't have much longer to live.  
  
"Iya. I'm dying…" The youko coughed up blood, dying his pale lips a ghastly red. "Gomen Yuusuke…I wasn't strong enough to join Hiei on my own…I blamed Koenma when all I wanted to do was die. I couldn't do it…I felt guilty and I used him as a scapegoat…I used *you*." Kurama shuddered, his breathing becoming shallower, more labored. "Maybe…I'll be able to see Hiei…before I go to Hell." The body in Yuusuke's arms went limp, the gold eyes dimming.  
  
Reaching out, Yuusuke shut Kurama's eyes, his head bowed. He would see that Kurama got his last wish; the Reikai owed him that much.  
  
~Owari~  
  
****  
  
Notes: I guess this is a bonus track; I didn't want to use 'Forever Love' twice, so I used this song, though it's not a ballad. Heh. Can anyone tell that I reeeaaally like X-Japan?  
  
It would help if you had the Ballad Collection for X-Japan. This is my "experiment in angst" since I don't – can't seem to write it. So, this is a personal challenge. These are individual fics, just using all the songs on the cd. 


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